Embracing Empowerment: A Plus-Size Midwife's Journey and an Invitation for Expecting Mothers

Hello lovelies! I’m Nickie, a plus-size midwife who recently experienced the transformative journey of a high-risk home birth. My story is one of empowerment and resilience, and what I experienced is something I know many women would want.

That said, I know that I found it challenging throughout. I was constantly battling the voices in my ears (from colleagues), my head (from my training) and the voice in my heart and the little kicks in my womb that told me all was well. The amount of pressure from society, and the system to conform was phenomenal.

My Journey: A High-Risk Home Birth

As a midwife, I have always been an advocate for childbirth on women’s terms and I’ve experienced many times a sense of awe at the incredible strength of women's bodies. I’ve supported women to wait for baby to choose their birthdate (longest pregnancy I’ve supported was 43+3.) I’ve supported women to homebirth when they are high risk, or decline various tests etc. However, when it came to my own pregnancy, I found myself in a challenging situation – do I do what the system wanted me to do, or do I follow what I felt in my heart was right for me and my unborn son – like I had encouraged other women to do.

For context my son was a much wanted and longed for baby. My first pregnancy I was low risk and had my son in a birth centre, he was a term baby and a good size. I got older, my bmi got bigger, and I had 4 pregnancy losses. All investigations showed no problems, all pregnancies lost by 12 weeks. I was convinced that I would not be taking my baby home with me for most of this pregnancy but as the weeks ticked on I eventually started to engage with the fact that I would get to give birth again. I loved my birth with my eldest but this time was different, Id declined loads in this pregnancy – and I’d actually taken a break from working  as a midwife in the NHS after the pandemic. The constant comments of “but you’re high risk” “think of the baby” “so much could go wrong at home, do you want to risk a much wanted baby for your own vanity sake?”  were constant and I couldn’t help but wonder if the 18 months out of the system had made me forget how big the risks supposedly were.

It wasn’t helped when my next growth scan showed he was measuring on the 96th centile. “so you’ll be for an induction at 39 weeks” said the sonographer. “No, I’m having a home birth, my last boy was almost 9lb so I can push out a good size baby I’m not worried”.  But there it was. The extra layering on of the fear factors and the guilt.

Could I stick to my own choices whilst walking through the system that I know so well?! Could I walk the walk I encouraged others to do?

Well to cut a long story shorter, enough that I can call this a blog and not a monologue, I did stick to my guns. Despite being labelled as:

·       Old (I was 41)

·       High Bmi (of also 41)

·       Multiple pregnancy losses

·       gestational diabetic (diet control) – apparently! (Don’t get me started on this inaccuracy!)

·       and then adding to it: the fact that my waters started leaking at 38 weeks,

I STILL DECLINED INDUCTION.

I did accept daily midwife visits, I did have a check in the day unit on a weekend, which I cried at after a wall of 4 professionals asked my why I was determined to risk my baby’s life and refuse induction 3 days in.

• So I accepted antibiotics from day 3.

• Declined vaginal examinations and sweeps (after accepting one that made me bleed and panic).

• I trusted my intuition. Had no signs of infection. My sugars were stable, my temperature normal. Baby’s movements were consistently similar. My continuing leaking waters, clear and no offensive smell.

Every night, prodromal labour, until night number 7, when my darling boy decided that he would indeed be born, the day after a full moon, in 20 mins flat! and born on the 53rd centile!

With minimal bleeding, the tiniest of tears, a straight forward birth of the placenta, in my front room with my husband, my eldest and my best friend in attendance to welcome him.

There was so much “noise” from health professionals through the end of my pregnancy that the night we called them to come to our homebirth – only the homebirth lead would attend, as no one wanted to go to such a high risk homebirth. That said – Steph was amazing as was her colleague. But I was almost convinced Id end up freebirthing!

I had phenomenal support from a handful of places: a former senior birth centre midwife who I have come to adore, constantly reminded me of the things I reminded other women about.  The homebirth group I was part of on facebook, run by a powerhouse of a Doula – Samantha. My husband and my best friend who trusted me. And I had my instinct, my ability to seek out the good info from the bad.

Sadly not all people have this.

So I end this blog with an Invitation to Plus-Size Expectant Mothers and Families

My journey has inspired me to create a special course tailored specifically for plus-size pregnant women. This course is designed to empower you, provide you with the knowledge and confidence you need, and support you in making informed decisions about your pregnancy and childbirth.

Big Beautiful Birth: Putting plus size people Back in Control of their Pregnancy

With Units such as:

1. Understanding Your Rights in Pregnancy and Childbirth

2. Navigating the NHS for Plus-Size Pregnant Women

3. Creating a Birth Plan

4. Advocating for Your Choices

5. Common Myths and Facts About Plus-Size Pregnancy

6. Self-Care and Mental Health During Pregnancy

By completing this course – you will boost your confidence to deal with health professionals and know what you want for you and your baby. Together, we will celebrate our bodies, our strength, and the incredible journey of bringing new life into the world – our bodies are capable of being big, beautiful and giving birth.

Sign Up Today

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With love and empowerment,

Nickie the Midwife. Xxx